On: Living in Loserville
Colleen Rogers
For the last several
months, my life has been summarily relocated to a trailer AirBnB on a small, swampy
lot in the figurative town of Loserville.
After surviving a series
of personal illnesses and accidents, family deaths, and financial setbacks, I am
hobbling around ensconced in the cave crawl that has become my home. Everyone tells me that rounds of extreme misfortune
come in waves of three, but these double-dosed tragi-shots have kept me propped
up and bug-eyed for a sixth blizzard of woe.
I notice that this kind of
personal shite-storm is a pattern that happens to me a lot. While others swarm around enjoying
well-executed vacation plans, I succumb to watching Fourth-of-July fireworks
from the confinement of a hospital bed.
As ladies in over-sized sunglasses ooh and ahh over lavish and extravagant
boutique purchases, I carefully budget needed household upgrades and refute all
personal makeovers. Although I recognize
that on the overall continuum of Life Grades, I am solidly at “C” level, I am
not sure that “Ready Blessings” ever truly roll my way. While I do have what I need to survive, all gravy
trains stop when it comes to me being generously handed what I think I “want”.
I wonder sometimes if I subconsciously
send out some kind of punishing Karma vibe that continues to thunk me on the
head for failing to recognize the enigma of life lessons. Yet, as my headbanging, disastrous, reality bonus
round continues, I have come away with these epiphanies:
1.
When you live in the town
of Loserville, you are both strong AND resilient. You have survived numerous physical assaults,
the losses of loved ones, and unplanned financial struggles, BUT you know the maze
of work-arounds to handily re-group.
Your coping skills are outstanding, and though others may underestimate
you, you can truly take a hit and gently weeble-wobble your way back, still standing. You’ve had a lot of disaster-drill practices,
and you can bounce dance through adversity every time. It’s the surprising coping gift you have been
given.
2. You are the ultimate Underdog. As such, people want to help
you. It makes them feel emboldened when
they can extend the best they have to offer.
Give them the chance to be generous and magnanimous, and take each
opportunity to show your gratitude and appreciation. Remember, every Power Player needs an assist
on the field.
3. Someone is always watching you on your road. How you “fix your flat tire” when you drive
over potholes helps others navigate.
Always have your “spare” reserve handy—you may need some extra “air and
motion” to get you to your own safe place.
Though it is challenging, keep breathing and keep moving. Others need to see you act "competently" while
you handle your own crisis. You are
always an example for someone, no matter what arrow-slings besiege you.
4. You don’t completely know your purpose. Perhaps you were not meant to be the “Real
Housewife of Wherever” or the “Corporate Jay-Z-to-Be”. You may not be one of the yacht-riding,
wine-sipping, high-styling, money-trading, castle-owning highly-favored. You may have been assigned to be something
grittier. Your earthly chore might be to
write a tome of bravery, spirit, and survival.
You may falter in some tests, but you cannot cheat or be vacuous—your
victories are truly based on the honor of your own demonstration of will and
determination.
5. You may sometimes need to cry it out—use real tears, and as many
as you need to dispense. You will feel
life is unfair and stabbing, and you will get angry. Anger is what you need to “level up”, and
tears are what you need to wash away your weak.
Both manifestations are your body armor.
6. You will eventually
relocate from your sorrow. The “this,
too, shall pass” adage is spot on. Wait
it out, then walk away from your worst. Shove all your difficult memories in the
fabric of your hobo pack, and only unwrap the distant recollections of what you’ve
overcome when you are in the caboose of your horror. When the time is right to address your survival,
you will do so with a winsome smile, and with the freedom that only a solo wandering
traveler can understand--
--while waving goodbye to the town of Loserville.
