On: The "Curriculum" of Conduct

On:  The “Curriculum" of Conduct

Colleen Rogers

Today I got to sit in on three inaugural webinars that featured the latest strands in “educational trending”.  Every teacher has witnessed many cycles of these buzz-word initiatives. Each initiative is hard to recall individually, but none of them generally seems to last too long. 

My colleagues and I have been trained “soldiers” in everything from “No Child Left Behind” to “Race to the Top” to “Common Core”.  It is part of our accountability to assure that the tenants of these “trending initiatives” are met at the classroom level.  We dutifully attempt to execute each, even if we don’t know how to do so, or we aren’t sure why the directives remain in place.

The framework for each of these “movements” is, in an obtuse way, a reflective mirror of the veiled concerns society has for the  “shortcomings” of our children.  Today’s webinars featured three themes--student apathy, students learning from failure, and teachers modeling humanity.  My takeaway from the webinars...

1.    Students don’t care

2.   Students give up

3.   Students don’t know how to treat others 

Notice that none of the three webinars dealt with the actual instruction of content.  Essentially, teachers are not truly teaching much subject matter anymore...they are teaching students the rudimentary social skills that customarily would have once been parental responsibilities.

Our first presenter addressed student apathy indicators with these pointed questions:

What happens when a teacher assigns a project and only 3/20 students submit completed work?  At what point do students have a “wearing off” of their own motivation for doing things in a class?  What gets in a student's way before they complete tasks? When do students start to “not care” in the classroom?

Our speaker presented the Self-Determination Theory, and the ways a teacher might re-focus students to value intrinsic vs. extrinsic reasons for learning.  The key to doing this is threefold:

1.    Give the student autonomy--example:  let students make independent choices for formatting their class projects

2.   Recognize varied levels of competencies--example:  let students complete projects at their own level of “understandability”

3.   Promote relatedness or “connectedness”--example:  strive for human interactions and a sense of community in the classroom

The goal in the classroom should be to encourage students to thrive without their teacher, and to have their motivation stem from within.  Our presenter cited studies that concluded that by providing students with an overabundance of extrinsic rewards (certificates, trophies, etc.), we are actually decreasing their desire to get internal satisfaction from learning.

The presenter suggested that instead of having students complete the traditional written “getting-to-know-you-at-the-beginning-of-the-year” questionnaires, verbally ask students these questions instead:

1.    What is the most important thing you can learn in school?

2.   What do you think makes other students lose their motivation?

The answers students provide to these questions should give you some essential lesson planning guidelines.

The presenter on student failure suggested working toward and emphasizing skill development. Lesson planning should be directed toward your response to this question:

What do I want the students to be able to do? 

This goal-direction shifts activities toward student mastery as opposed to the achievement of “test success”.

Additionally, by posting a “menu” of choices for student assignments, and by doing project-based assessments, the fear of failure is minimized for many students.  Students should be able to “discuss” their assignment grades as well, having opportunities to re-vamp their work to earn higher scores.  The teacher should rest on the motto “if you try, you don’t fail”.

Our third presenter suggested that teachers achieve more “global competency” by understanding that many students may be in survival mode before even coming to school.  Teachers need to question how students are feeling, and focus on what students DO bring to school, instead of berating their students’ deficits.

For example, a student may be chronically late to school because they are taking their siblings to school while their Mom completes her night shift.  Rather than focus on this student’s tardiness, tell the student that you’re “glad they are here”.

Our presenter also suggested pairing students with peers to help them build mutual empathy.  Align the “social butterfly” students with those who struggle to interact with others.  There is importance, also, in consciously displaying students’ work to help them build self-esteem.  Planning events that are community-based, with students receiving a broader range of accolades for their school work, goes a long way in helping students form connections with the community-at-large.

It is now imperative, according to these presenters, that teachers spend a greater block of time at the beginning of the school year creating a “climate” for learning.  The front-end emphasis on generating teacher-student rapport, instructing coping techniques for perceived failures, and modeling interactive social behaviors for students suddenly “outweighs” the need for outlining content. 

Teachers now spend a greater percentage of their day teaching students “how to become decent human beings”.  What this indicates is the sense that there is generalized parental abdication.  A teacher’s role is increasingly guided toward the stabilization of students’ psyches in the classroom.  Teachers need to make an effort to understand why students “no longer care”, why they are more prone to quit in the classroom, and why they lack the anticipated social behaviors teachers used to expect as standard conduct.

The following article has some quick, easy ways to generate teacher-student rapport with your students--these suggested techniques can be used daily to continue to build classroom connections: 

“Four Quick Ways to Build Rapport With Students

(Even the Ones that Are Hardest to Reach)”

https://www.weareteachers.com/rapport-with-students/

Instead of providing coping techniques for failure, this article includes some helpful ways to assist students in completing their class assignments:

“Seventeen Ways to Get Your Students to Actually Do Their Work”

https://teach4theheart.com/17-ways-get-students-actually-work/

To demonstrate classroom routines, appropriate behavior and social skills in the classroom, teachers may opt to use the interactive modeling techniques outlined in the following resource:

“What is Interactive Modeling?/Responsive Classroom”

https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/what-interactive-modeling/

Teachers might consider these additional standards to enhance their profile in their school and community:

“25 Ways Teachers Can Be Role Models”

https://www.educationdegree.com/articles/25-ways-teachers-can-b

And finally, if you don’t have a running tab with Teachers Pay Teachers, or are not a devotee of Pinterest--here are some freebie behavioral charts that may be adaptable for use in your own classroom:

https://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/

Continue to have a great school year!

Image From:

https://www.teacher.org/daily/managing-student-behavior/

On: The Happiness Fallacy

On:  The Happiness Fallacy

Colleen Rogers

I am what they call a dowager, a Debbie Downer, a Negative Nellie.  I do not look on the bright side of things.   I have a preemptive contingency plan for when the “other shoe drops”, because, in my view, it usually does.  It is very hard for someone like me to openly recognize joy on-the-daily.  As I “gain experience”, I take note of more in-your-face difficulties, and I woman suffragette the grocery list of tragedies that have befallen me.  I am a "fake it till you make it" kinda gal. 

When I sit in reflection, I customarily focus on losses.  I have lost my beloved parents, some incredible grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I cannot even begin to discuss my rainbowed pets or angel-ed friends without a flow of tears after many years still reigning.  I have daily missed bosses and cherished colleagues I haven’t even seen for years.  I have had little “micro-deaths” from each shift of a job or a home.  It has been a merciless struggle for me to acclimate to new neighborhoods or unfamiliar work sites.  Wrestling with these transitions has sometimes been a brutally tough induction ceremony against newfound expectations.

It is has become a recent habit to second guess the places where I have nested.  I often wonder if I could have done better for myself, or lived more adventurously.  Maybe I should have aligned myself with others who might have stressed me less, or offered me more than they took.  I think about things that have happened to me, and I feel an exclusivity of amplified regret that surely is only mine to bear.  I believe many times that I am solitary in heart-holding these daily “bereavements”.  Of course, I am most assuredly not alone. 

The regretful dowry I bear may not often be public, or visible, and sometimes can only be seen as a glimmer of coined shrouds that only I can count, but my dowry is no more weighty than the offerings presented by us all.

I watch us in our common areas, and I see our situational barbells pressing down upon us, causing our bodies to ground down, our choices crushing us into reactive zombie-bees.  We live beneath a fake whimsical umbrella of our own notions of control.

I used to think that my life would be the result of a series of full-bodied, free-willed choices.  I was certain that I absolutely would never land anywhere without well-considered, cautious deliverance.  I felt that every decision I adjudicated would be a direct bulls-eye hit on a planned trajectory.  I played confident that I would end-game exactly as I preordained the victory of my life to be. 

In reality, I have often ended up with the “Life Of Not”.  This is NOT the job I would have wanted, NOT the house I would have picked, NOT always the people I hoped would surround me.  The evolution of the “How Did I Get Here” autobiography really sneaks up on everyone.  The true trek of a our destiny is actually more like “The Pokemon Go of the Unexpected”. 

The fact is, we never really determine our lives.  We are wholly delusional if we expect to construct a life of our own perfect selection.  Things happen on our journey that we don’t consider--there may be an unexpected opportunity, an uncoupling, an unfathomable loss, some unhealthiness, or a road of unanticipated detours. 

Because we are in flux so frequently, achieving perpetual happiness is a fallacy.  We can’t easily find joy when it falls between the cracks of our own challenging re-adjustments.  Happiness is rarely harvested naturally because our lives are never in corn rows of alignment.  The fallacy of happiness is that we will somehow just fall into its’ state of being.  Somehow, happiness will "just appear before us", like a single four leaf clover in an expansive meadow.  In actuality, happiness is truly a search and recovery mission. 

Every day, we have to seek out tiny moments where just a few things are in place, and in those tic tocs of grace, we see our thread-beam of joy.  The happiness fallacy can dissolve when we pet our dog, hug our child, kiss our partner, or take a brief nature walk.  It is not the grandiose, overt moments of the obvious “special event” happiness that we should all wait to embrace. It is truly the "in the moment" small parcels of joy, those that are on-the-reveal daily, that we should attempt to detect.

We need to expand our vision for recognizing happiness.  We should realize that happiness is often a quietly restorative, surprisingly momentary gift.  What characterizes happiness as time-fleeting and rare is exactly the reason why it is so precious, and why we cannot expect to find perpetual, unyielding joy. 

For those of us who believe that life has left us bereft of happiness, it is truly because we have failed to do our detective work.  We are not discovering our little, nearly untraceable, moments of joy.  We have exclusively focused on seeking something on the "larger, bigger, better" scale.  But, if we wait for the “grandiose”, we will never sustain much ready joy. 

Few of our days boast events like weddings, promotions, graduations, the anticipation of moving day, or the excitement of the "new car smell".  So, it behooves us to take in and requisition something fleeting, "petite", and more sweetly subtle to give us pause and make us smile. Only in these briefly accessible moments will the cracks in our happiness remain filled. When we master this unearthing, something more grand will only make the joys of life just a little more clearly visible.

   
"I'm beginning  to recognize that real happiness isn't something large and looming on the horizon ahead, but something small, numerous, and already here.  

The smile of someone you love.  A decent breakfast.  The warm sunset.  Your little everyday joys all lined up in a row."--Beau Taplin

On Being: The Homeschool “Tool”

On Being: The Homeschool “Tool”...
Colleen Rogers

Most of us have triggers--issues about which we are so passionate that we will fight beyond logic to express our irrefutable point. One of my Bigfoot Triggers is homeschooling. I hate the thought of it, and think it’s an abomination to all the world’s children for all eternity. So, when I saw a Facebook Newsfeed on this topic, my starter pistol hot-fired. The “offending” Newsfeed post dealt with some legitimate legal issues that homeschooling parents face, mapping out the various requirements for reporting an intent to homeschool at district and state levels. With the sideways steam of El Toro, and my belief that NO CHILD ANYWHERE ON THE MAP SHOULD BE HOMESCHOOLED, I responded to the Newsfeed by posting this:

“I am a retired teacher, certified in elementary and secondary education, and even I would not homeschool. Children need to be taught by a variety of instructors from numerous content areas in order to experience a real-world, professional learning environment. This is what really prepares them for the future. The socialization children currently require is not sufficiently provided by a group of like-minded people in a homeschool environment.”

The mortar fire commenced, and I then dealt with a militia of 105 inflammatory homeschooling parent posts for two days. In my knee-jerk ire, it wasn’t until after thirty outraged retorts that I realized what I posted demanded the backstory...

When I was a newbie teacher, I had done some social service work as the Coordinator of Youth Services for an outreach program. In an area school, I was privy to the worst case of child abuse and neglect you could ever imagine. Eight children from two families all lived together in a collapsing “communal cult house”. The parents had received a “public school discharge” for these children so that these kids could be...

homeschooled for "religious reasons."

A suspicious neighbor ultimately observed the kids on cloistered, gated property, and contacted the police and DCFS to report suspected neglect and abuse. I witnessed the aftermath of what happened to these children.

After they were removed from their “home” and were examined by medical personnel, they were placed in foster care, and were subsequently re-enrolled in a now “foreign” public school system. Although the children received counseling from social workers in foster care and from the school psychologist, they were never really “right”. They struggled academically with handling the scheduled order and requirements of the school day. They struggled socially with disconnected and awkward behaviors, which were misunderstood by other students. Their off-road conduct ultimately resulted in further ostracization until they earned "official outcast” status from their peers.

Anyone who observed them, reviewed the twisted reporting documentation, or saw the photos of each child prior to public school re-entry, would remain indelibly horrified. I can find no words to describe the depravity they endured. When realizing that a “homeschooling” rouse was used to trap them, keep them secluded, and neglect and abuse them, it was inconceivable that anyone would wave a unilateral flag of support for homeschooling parents.

My posted comment, though arguably not well-executed, was in recollection of these children, with the hope that homeschooling parents would:

1. Consider the assurances of surrounding a child with mandated reporters ( who are required by law to report signs of abuse)
2. Realize that schools are a microcosm of communities; they include the diverse social interactions a child would use with peers and adults in the future
3. Ensure that each child interacts with lots of trained professionals who have up-to-date content area and service delivery skills
4. Understand that varied instructional approaches are required to enhance each child’s learning experiences

What I did in my comment, though, made me in street vernacular a real “tool” instead. The insensitive, hasty move I made resulted in this...


I insulted each of these parents by claiming that the “Nightmare Homeschool Horror Movie" I witnessed accurately depicted all homeschooling parents everywhere, and for all hellfire eternity.

When I reflected, I acknowledge that I would have had the same incensed reaction if THEY had said that I, a female public school teacher, must molest teenage boys. After all, they HAD seen another woman teacher on the news convicted of that crime. I would absolutely level one to highly insulted and extremely defensive.

I couldn’t really salvage all the time they spent responding to the post (either to vent their anger or to forward me information), but I could learn something of value. So, what I did was this. I very carefully read and considered each of their posts. I divided the information they provided into these four categories:
1. The Parents’ Reasons for Homeschooling
2. The Parents’ Concerns Over Public Schools
3. Homeschool Academics and Resources
4. Homeschool Activities

Some of the categories listed above, I divided into subsets as well, which I will indicate as I relate parent commentaries in each section.

When you read the following information, please be aware that:

1. My original post was NOT done with ANY intent to incite the online posters--I was merely expressing my own opinion. There was NO preordained “plan” to use their responses or comments as “research” of any kind
2. All the information that these parents posted was anecdotal, based solely on their own personal beliefs and experiences.
3. Although I did some editing, the “data” I received from the posters’ comments was not altered.
4. I deleted the thread from the original post site after I received personal insults from some posters. At that juncture, I decided that a more productive way for me to “revisit” my views on homeschooling would be to read and compile their less personal comments for an “analysis” of their positions, rather than to continue to respond to negative, inflammatory posts.

The Parents’ Reasons for Homeschooling

The homeschooling parents cited that they believe they have a right to make their own choices for their families. They feel that education is a family effort, and that teachable moments can be shared together throughout the day. While their children are homeschooling, no bond is broken with parents. Homeschooling follows a Christian-based curriculum, as is preferred by many of the homeschooling parents.

Historical Beliefs and Societal Changes

The homeschooling parents recorded that our forefathers, including many U.S. presidents, were homeschooled. By homeschooling, they feel that they are not conceding parental rights or their own truths to governmental entities, as there is a “brainwashing” of America. In the social realm, students from other countries are in homeschool groups, and the minority population of homeschoolers is increasing. Additionally, homeschoolers have peers of all ages. *Homeschoolers, according to data, are better socialized than their public school counterparts.

*Source of claim unknown

Educational Frameworks

Homeschooling is the fastest growing educational choice, and is now in its “second generation”. In homeschooling, the child, rather than the subject, is the educational focus. Students can learn on their own, led by their interests. Parents believe that the homeschool curriculum is more rigorous than that of public schools, and that special needs, gifted and twice-exceptional children receive more services while being homeschooled. Homeschooling students have more off-site educational experiences in the community--they can, for example, study natural erosion and eco systems in creek beds; budgeting and math can be learned at the grocery store. Homeschool parents have more time to take vacations to historical sites. They can take their homeschooled child places any day of the week, and offseason when there are no crowds.

Homeschool classes can also be done online, and parents feel that there are more apprenticeships and vocational opportunities available for their child. Homeschooling parents feel that universities and the military more often “seek out” homeschoolers for recruitment, believing homeschoolers to have more independent study skills.

The Parents Concerns Over The Public School System

Homeschooling parents expressed the belief that there is moral decline in schools, and that public school students are indoctrinated. There is distrust of teacher unions, liberalism in education, anti-gun sentiments, pro-Islamic beliefs, and anti-Christian ideas, which are conveyed through public school instruction. There are also concerns that public school systems have “re-written” history in curricular materials.

While home schooling has evolved, according to the posters, public schools have remained stagnate without any general changes. Students remain in the classroom for six to eight hours, and with the same classmates, which according to the parents, is not socialization. Public school students are taught to question authority, and their parents as well. Public school teachers are forced to “deal with” serious disciplinary issues that should require suspension or expulsion. There are also assaults by other students and teachers. Children feel isolated or bullied when they are in school. They also feel peer pressure, and face the unhealthy social skills of cliques and bullies. School shootings are also on the rise.

There are concerns over ineffective counseling services, and the overall lack of social services for school children. Parents often have to resort to “legislative action” to address some students’ special needs (i.e., assistance for students who have dyslexia). Homeschooling parents complained about the reduction of the arts in public schools, and the lack of courses like home economics. Many vocational classes, like shop for example, are no longer offered in public schools.
 
There is excessive amount of testing, along with the impression that school subjects are “not brought to life” by the inclusion of guest speakers, debates and in-depth discussions in the classroom. A scripted, robotic style of instruction, along with a drive for teachers to emphasize high test scores, excludes student comprehension and retention. Public school teachers, according to the homeschooling parents, are “feeding” information to students to enable them to pass standardized tests. Students are “brainwashed” with data long enough for them to “bubble in” a test sheet and complete the testing “task”.

Homeschooling parents state that they SLOW down, instructing for mastery, not just for passing state standards. This is especially important for children with special needs. Some of their children are also “held back” in public school classrooms so that their classmates can “catch up”. The focus in public schools is now test scores, not teaching. Some statewide initiatives, like the Common Core curriculum and “No Child Left Behind”, do not really prepare children for their future.

Homeschooling parents feel that teachers sometimes present their students with their own “agenda”. Some specific agendas cited were: “Communism is better than Capitalism"; “Christianity is bad”; and “The flag is just a scrap of fabric.” Homeschool parents stated that they, unlike teachers, were not driven by earning a paycheck or working toward retirement. They felt that sometimes it was difficult to dismiss incompetent teachers due to teacher unions and long school board processes.

Homeschool Academics

Some of the homeschooling parents provided me with general information regarding the types of homeschooling available, the supply sources for curriculum materials, and the structure of a homeschooler’s day. Most parents participate in homeschooling co-op groups or consortiums. Parents pool their resources in the co-ops and teach in their “field of expertise”.

Some parents use the Montessori “Following the Child” and the “Child is the Curriculum” method. There are trainings available at the North American Montessori Center:
https://www.montessoritraining.net/
Common Montessori homeschool questions may be reviewed at the following website:
http://www.montessori-home-schooling.com/common-questions/montessori-homeschool-program.aspx.

Other parents homeschooled using the Christian Liberty Curriculum. This curriculum does testing and issues transcripts for homeschooled children. To review this curriculum, access the following website:
http://www.shopchristianliberty.com/homeschool-curriculum-and-services/

Overall research information regarding homeschooling is available online through the National Home Education Research Center website:
https://www.nheri.org/

These two homeschooling textbook sites were also recommended for the content areas of Math and Science:
Mathematics curriculum: http://www.teachingtextbooks.com/
Science Curriculum: https://www.apologia.com/

Homeschooling teachers, with verification of the homeschool’s state registration name, can also sometimes get teacher discounts for materials.

Most homeschoolers receive private tutoring for a period of 2-3 hours, and then complete hands-on activities. The "unschoolers" do learner-chosen activities and learn through natural life experiences.

Homeschooled students may enroll, too, in online courses for college credit at the Junior College level. Homeschooling students may opt to volunteer to spend several months in a third world country on Mission trips to explore outreach learning experiences.

Homeschool Activities

To ensure that homeschooling is more broad-based, it is connected with outside community activities. Homeschoolers do post-tutorial competitions related to academics. These include spelling bees, robotics, math competitions, and STEM-related opportunities.

Homeschooling CoOps participate in “Homeschooling Days” at museums, zoos and aquariums. Parents also have their children involved in “paid enhancement” activities like art, music, dance and gym. Some students perform in community plays.

Homeschoolers can get involved in organized sports (like baseball and basketball) through community and county teams, or enroll in the traditional Boy Scouts and 4H clubs. Volunteer work is another option, and homeschoolers may work with small children or the elderly. Many homeschoolers hold part-time jobs, too.

My Surprised Observations
 
According to the posters, homeschooling accountability varies significantly from state-to-state.

In Alaska, there is no need to report an intent to homeschool to a state agency. California requires the filing of a private affidavit, but no subsequent grades, records, or test scores. In Alabama, there is no required “cover” or church association, filing of a letter of intent, or public school withdrawal for homeschooling--but there is no legally distinct “homeschool” option in the state’s compulsory school attendance stature.

Successful homeschooling requires serious networking.

Throughout the posts, parents drew support from each other, exchanged ideas, and recommended websites like “Nature Mom” or “The Homeschool Mom” to provide encouragement and start-up information for others:
http://www.naturemoms.com/homeschool-resources-and-help.html
https://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/

One characteristic that ALL modern-day educators share is... defensiveness.

The homeschooling parents related lots of personal stories to enumerate their children’s successes. I countered by ticking off the number of accomplished public school students I taught over the years.

One homeschool parent posted: “Your an idiot.”
I stuffed the compulsion to reply: “You’re an idiot.”--Corrected by a public school teacher.

We volleyed this rock-paper-scissors game for over 100 posts. The raw defensiveness on both sides of the coin taught me this...

No educators, homeschooling parents OR public school teachers, are validated for our efforts. If we confirm that someone else is doing something right, than that must mean we are doing something wrong.

The real judgment call is this--no matter what our choice is, are we each truly doing our best daily work  for every child?

Image: http://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-parenting/between-the-national-curriculum-and-homeschooling/

On Back-To-School: The Teachers

On Back-to-School:  The Teachers

Colleen Rogers

As a retired teacher, this is actually the first August that I have not had an overwhelming wistfulness over not returning to the classroom.  It has taken me several years to not identify myself solely and exclusively as a teacher. 

The withdrawal process I have experienced has been painful.  While teaching, at the end of a teacher-summer, I would whimsically head to my Mecca, the “Teacher Store”, and shore up with an inordinate amount of posters, bulletin board materials, content area books, and background paper.  This initial supply hunt would be followed by a trek to Target or Wal Mart, to also load up on requisite markers, pencils, pens, notebook paper and the like—essentially getting everything on every Parent’s School Supply list as well.  Whatever I bought, I knew would be disappear or be depleted long before October.  I would “replenish” with some freebies by covertly foraging for pencils from the floors of the school hallways by the onset of fall.

Every year, I would “homing pigeon” my way to school the week before the first day. With grand flourish, I would “decorate the classroom”, moving desks and hanging posters.  I always had to first track down my assigned classroom key, which was held in the Main Office, guarded in a secret portal by the school secretary.  When She begrudgingly  placed the key in my zealous, enthusiastic hand, I knew I would be beholden to her for the remainder of the school year.  And so it began.  I schlepped my new stash of supply-purchases from boxed carloads to a barren classroom.  I would look like a wrestled, wilted flower by the end of my runs. 

It would always be hellishly hot in the classroom, and the posters I hung would slide in protest like paper lava down the concrete walls.  I finally found a tape that cemented each of the laminates without ripping paint off the janitor-treated walls.  (Teacher Rule #47:  Never tick off the Head of Maintenance by tearing off paint with tape).  In a few short days, I would gleefully share my Poster Affixing Secret with all the new teachers, like the dutiful Sage Mentor and Torch Passer that I one day hoped to be. 

When I finished arranging my modest "Learning Center”, I would circle the building, peering into the nondescript classrooms with a false sense of preparedness for what was to come.

The first week of school was Teacher Initiation Hell Week.  There was a round of Goal-Focused Teacher Strategy Meetings to kick things off.  Teachers would show up, groggy and heavily caffeinated, still wearing the Summer Shorts of Denial.  The secret meeting subtext for all teachers was to assess the Administration’s Support-‘O-Meter, eyeball the new colleagues, and groan over the building shifts.  There was a lot of sarcastic eye-rolling, some sneaking away for dibs on the Xerox machine, and lots of horse-trading of instructional materials.  Because I, by nature, am such a Suzy Cream Cheese, I was golly-certain that this year would most definitely be different.  So wrong-oh...

No teacher ever sleeps the night before school starts, no matter how seasoned they might be.  Like Opening Night on Broadway, there is a cross-training level of anxiety like no other.  Though your classroom rules are done, your syllabus is finalized, and your “instructional strategies” are “on firm”,  you never feel truly ready.  When you wake up on the first day, it seems like you are leaving to work a wretched night shift in a coal mine.  Week One is always a tsunami of incompetency.  You are training for a grueling Educational Marathon designed to break your once-spirited soul. 

Your rosters change daily, textbooks don’t arrive, the Xerox crashes and burns, and you realize that your worst nightmare will be your last class of the day...for the next nine months.  You look to colleagues for support, but each of you is quick-sanding in their own School Swamp.  All the motivational summer workshops, the restorative beach margaritas, and the promised positivism for a better year is now bent and spent.

By Week Two, you know student names, have started identifying Hell Raisers, and no longer need to tutor anyone on “How to Open A Locker or Tie A Shoe”.   You are rocking your day as a surrogate Parent and Confidante, problem-solving it all like a Ninja Warrior.  You still don’t have enough rest, but you are getting your rhythm back, and sort of have a routine.  You have scoped out your bathroom break area, and mapped your twenty minute lunch errands route.  You start to wear your school shirt on Fridays, and You Own It.  Still, when your friends invite you for a Friday night beer, it’s a “no go”.  You can’t, and it’s not because of any professional moral superiority.  You can’t because you’re exhausted.  You’ve given your brain and your physicality to instructing “your” kids at school.

By Week Three, you start calendar projecting...when is the next holiday, the next early dismissal, the next In-service, etc.  "Will we have a Snow Day this year, and will we need to make it up in June?"  You are not looking for the breezy day because you’re lazy, you just need a break from the school tsunami.  When I was teaching, it would take me a solid couple of weeks to wind down for each inviting June arrival. 

After nine months of dealing with bone-headed decisions over which you have no control; logger-headed parents who let their child run amuck; and limited successes with zero resources, you appear non-functional.  You need those “break” days throughout the year to re-charge.  You do NOT want to become one of those teachers seen on the Nightly News—the ones who initiate a brawl with a parent or an administrator, finally snapping under the weight of professional restraint.  You see, it is not always the kids.  Sometimes professional dissolution originates from the behavior of other adults —the very ones who should know better and “have your back”.  

So, as children are being gifted the shiny newness of shoes, clothes, backpacks, and laptops in preparation for returning to school this year, consider what teachers lack as they return to class.  This year, be sure to think about what each teacher does to set up your child’s classroom.  Consider the things teachers purchase, organize, arrange and prepare.  Think about the emotional investment each teacher gifts--how teachers “parent” in your place, and instruct the “moral compass” that your child’s classmates may not possess.  Imagine how teachers in a techno-world advance humanitarianism  for the children they see daily.  Visualize what your child would miss if their classroom was solely the log-in on their home computer.  Remember all the teachers who were such cherished life characters, whose influence you still talk about... even now... as an adult...with your own kids.  If your child admires their teacher this year, think about sending along a small gift card or a box of classroom supplies to support them.  This considerate gesture will be appreciated beyond measure.

 Or, if you know a teacher personally, drop off a pizza on a Friday night...along with a cold six pack of beer.  Trust.  They'll be home...and in their pajamas.

    

On: Teacher Tales--Email Logs, Volume 5

Teacher Tales:
A Compilation of Email Logs From
The Records of A Public High School Teacher, Volume 5

A Primer For the Secretary of Education's 
Review and Consideration


Entry #36

"After School Brawl"

March 20, 2014 7:32 AM

"Hi, hon,

...evidently there were 23 kids fighting after school yesterday..we are on a no pass, no cell phone policy today..."

Excerpts from the Assistant Principal's Memo:

"No students should be in the hallways during non-passing periods for any reason unless they are being escorted by security.  Requests for a security escort should only be for Dean and Counselor requests or medical emergencies.  In the event of a medical emergency, please notify the nurse at ext. #@&%."

In addition, we have requested additional police presence before, during and after school ...

Lastly, thank you to the many staff members who assisted today in helping quell today's events." 

Entry #37

"Forgery Board"

March 20, 2014 11:37 AM

From a local newspaper...

"@#$%^&*(), the former District president who was removed from office because of a 29-year-old felony conviction, said Wednesday he wants to be reappointed to the School Board.

Such circumstances are possible, @#$%^&*() said because he said an @#$% County, *()), judge issued an order granting an expungement of his conviction in 1985 for aiding, inducing or causing a forgery."

Entry #38

"Window Pain"

March 20, 2014 11:12 AM

"Hi, Hon,

I got displaced from my classroom today during lunch--a student in A.'s class called her a B@#ch, stormed out of the classroom, slammed the door, and shattered the glass pane of the door frame. The Assistant Principal came and asked me if they could move her students to my classroom while they cleaned up the glass.  When A. came back to the class, she was crying and they had to get a sub for her class.  Good thing we only have one more day till vacation."

Entry #39

"Hypocrite"

March 17, 2014 10:03 AM

"Hi, Hon, 

...I narrowly avoided a major faux pas in the attendance office.  I scanned a girl's ID, and when I gave her the tardy slip from the machine, it showed "Hypocrite" as being her first name.  Thankfully, I remembered to pronounce her name "Hip-AH-cree-tea" when I had to tell her she had a Saturday detention..."

Entry #40

March 11, 2014 11:56 AM

"Hi, Hon,

Kelly texted me and said that today was Janet Reno Day at her school for some unknown, random reason.  At my school, it is Kriss Kross Day, so some kids have their clothes on backwards...that's so...Wiggetty, Wiggetty, Wiggetty, Wiggetty, Whack...uh, huh"
 

 Kriss Kross Image From:

http://www.metalsucks.net/2015/03/24/its-the-metal-cover-of-kris-kross-jump-you-never-knew-you-needed/

On: Frozen Fashion

Frozen Fashion
Colleen Rogers

While walking around our world-class city last week, I was noticing some of the trendy attire worn by the young professional women, comparing their "fashion chic" with my "retirement casual" sensibilities.  The method to my madness in observing was to have a selective road map for an "upping-my-style-game".

My current designer of choice from Milan, Comi Fourt Ahblei, seeks to retire his fashion house, leaving behind a legacy as Chief Fashion Designer for the cast of "Dynasty".  So I, now, must Goodwill what remains of my pumped-up-shoulder-padded jackets, and transition from the 80's wardrobe of Kris Jenner to the classy re-invented panache of Caitlyn. 

I have always been a laughable dresser, so bad, in fact, that my when my outfits have been decent, selfies have been requested.  One of my worst "fashion don'ts" was when I wore an 

A much smarter version of my sweatshirt

oversized sweatshirt, 
with a large Santa decal,
and the words "HO, HO, HO" emblazoned 
across the front.. 
in gold glitter...which
I wore to work...and 
it was not "Ugly Sweater Day".  

The worst thing about this fashion faux pas, though, was that...

until I heard cackling as I walked my perkiness down the hall at work, did I surmise the alternate significance of the phrase "HO, HO, HO".  Embarrassingly clueless.

Nonetheless, here follows my little comparative analysis on Generational Fashion, and the inception of my upgrades...

Hairstyles...
Millennials--Pony Tails or long, windblown locks
Boomer Gals--Boy-Short Dos, Wedgy Bobs, or Long, Homeless Grey Dryness

Jacket Selections...
Millennials--Short and "smart"
Boomer Gals--Long, boxy, and full of down or shoulder pads (sometimes with menopausal linings that zip out)

Shirt Selections...
Millennials--Fitted and Athletic
Boomer Gals--Loose-as-a-Goose "Blouses" or Concert T-Shirts (i.e., Grateful Dead stuff)

Pant Selections...
Millennials--Leggings in Regimented Black
Plus Size Women--Leggings, in eye-blinding Wallpaper, Leopard, or Geometric Prints 
Boomer Gals--Jeans, for our eternally rebellious nature

Shoe Choices...
Millennials--Athletic wear or ankle boots, heels if they're from another country, or are hookers
Boomer Gals--Coffin-resembling, lined, stogey shoes with straps, no laces...similar to children's foot ware from the turn-of-the-century

Purse Accessories...
Millennials--Backpacks
Boomer Gals--Totes, with treats for the Grand
kids

My conclusion is that the key is to an enviable look is...

wearing smartly loud accessories.  

If you're my age, divert your lack of style and crepey neck with one distracting statement piece.  Go for a large piece of jewelry, bold eye wear, Isadora Duncan scarves, blood red lipstick, or even that flipping Mary Tyler Moore beret.   

Look as wild and mismatched as you dare...if you do, you will be pegged as eccentrically fashionable or gloriously wealthy.

It's a win-win.