Teacher Tales:
A Compilation of Email Logs From
The Records of A Public High School Teacher, Volume 3
A Primer For the Secretary of Education's
Review and Consideration
Entry #22…
"Ducks Amuck"
April 21, 2014 9:45 AM
Memo from an Administrator
Subject: Courtyard Ducks
"...The ducks are back and have a nest with 13 eggs located directly under the gazebo. I know some of you use this area for instructional purposes, but please refrain from using this area until they (the ducks) have hatched and moved on."
Entry #23
"Flint, Michigan"April 7, 2014 1:25 PM
Memo from the Wellness Committee Chair
Subject: Water in the Faculty Lounge
" The water dispenser in the Faculty Lounge is dirty. The filter has not been changed in over a decade. We are currently investigating the situation...sorry for the inconvenience."
Entry #24
"Hot Seat"
February 5, 2014 12:13 PM
News Article:
(Special Election for Vacant District School Board Seat)
"Perhaps you could come up with an understanding about holding an election, a way in which people interested in the position could present their credentials," ****** told the gathering of a half-dozen attorneys--each representing different factions in the fight over control of the School Board.
Entry #25
"Dead Mouse"
June 2, 2014 7:35 AM (Still traumatized, out-of-sequence log due to PTSD)
"Hi, Hon--
Just got here--dead mouse right outside my classroom near that locker, you know, the one where the weave is trailing out. The mouse probably came from you-know-whose classroom hoard. The Assistant Principal removed it...best Assistant Principal EVER! After the mouse incident, one of the other teachers asked me, because of the way I'm dressed today, if I was working at a Clinique counter later. What an a$$ sombrero!"
Entry #26
"Theft Prevention"
June 3, 2013 11:10 AM
From Our Union Representative
"Please make sure you lock up anything you wouldn't want to see go missing. Take home all personal property if at all feasible. This year I will head my own advice, as last year I lost all my posters, wall coverings, etc."
Entry #27
"Precautionary Drill"
May 27, 2014 7:35 AM
"Hey, Hon...
Looks like my ninth period class and I have to hide in a corner today as a precautionary drill."
"Reactionary Quill"
May 26, 2014 9:02 PM
From An Administrator..
"There was a shooting in ***** this morning at approximately 11:00. It did not involve any of our students,, but the victims that incurred non-life- threatening injuries were related to two of our students..."
Entry #28
"Girl, Interrupted"
May 23, 2014 8:05 AM
"Hi, Hon,
Guess who is suspended until May 27? :) "
Entry #29
"Jamaican Flower"
May 21, 2014 11:42 AM
"Hi, Hon,
One of the Seniors decided to commemorate her graduation with a new tattoo...she got called into the Dean's Office today because her tattoo of choice, a "Jamaican Flower" was, in actuality, a marijuana plant.
According to her, she was misled by the tattoo artist, and will be demanding her money back.
Whoopsies! Reason #98 why you need to stay sober on Prom Weekend."
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